Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
