It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
