i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
