dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
