He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
