Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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