We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize