you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
