I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
