Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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