would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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