He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
