so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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