Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
