Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
