So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize