all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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