And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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