I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't think brook has ever known best
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
