he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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