He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
