hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
