You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
