do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
