none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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