Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
