omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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