this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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