about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize