oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
