I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
