Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
