Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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