she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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