If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
