we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
