fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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