What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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