You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
