i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
