you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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