Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
