I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize