Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
