It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
