"it" just moved
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
