my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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