Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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