i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
