I smell stomach acid.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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