Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
