My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Your dad touched me again.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
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