So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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