I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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