Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
