how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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