he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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