haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Randomize
