Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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