Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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