when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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