Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
